Why Swingers Don’t Go Out Like Vanilla People Do

Today’s post is a little bit of a rant, complaint, or at the very least a sanity check. Mrs SwingWifes and I are just confused on why so many members of the Lifestyle don’t get down to, in the words of Borat, “sexy time” before two in the morning or later when going to the club.

Since we first entered in the Lifestyle we have been amazed by the fact that not many couples leave the club before one thirty or two AM when they are about to close. In the vanilla world this makes perfect sense because the club is where the action is, but in the swinging world the club is nothing but the appetizer. Kind of like going out for dinner before going to the movie, the movie is the main event!

The problem with not leaving until two AM is that after the drive to the hotel or home and possibly a quick stop for snacks it is three AM before we get the first bra strap released. Then assuming the play is going good it is at least another two or three hours before someone is considering coming up for air, much less going to sleep! We have had many nights that ended with us driving home watching the sun come up in all its unbelievably bright and painful glory.

The other odd thing about this, is there is no way anyone is as good at sex at two AM after a few drinks then they were at ten thirty PM with a few less drinks. The point is why not plan the night to make the main feature, the sex, peak at just the right time. Not to mention if the sex starts at ten thirty and is going great you can keep it up for four hours and still be home by two thirty AM.

Someone was telling us about a group that calls themselves the “in and out by nine thirty” club. Their premise is when they throw a meet and greet or club outing they all plan on heading out for action by nine thirty PM. This way everyone squeezes in all the fun they can during the appetizer, the club, but plans and makes sure not delay the entree!

While nine thirty may be a bit early, as we still enjoy socializing at the club. We would never be offended if a sexy couple looks over at us at about ten thirty or eleven and says, “You want to get out of here” 🙂

So for the love of swinging humanity, all you night owl swingers out there lets shift our sexual clocks up a little bit and try to get on to the more important stuff before the Whataburger drive through gets hit with all the drunks leaving the vanilla clubs at two AM