The truth is, I was in That Moment Overcome with love for my wife-the funny, stubborn, strong, and beautiful woman I’d married just 10 months earlier. The woman who’d dumped me, even Encouraged me, to have moments like this without her.
Yes, an open marriage -the freedom to hook up With Other people
When the mood struck-was Maria’s idea. (She’s not that much of an anomaly, who’s. Almost 20 percent of women in a survey Glamour Said They’d Consider some form of open relationship) Maria HAD proposed the first arrangement to me during our initial, long-distance phase. Proposed by And, I mean That She had a one-night stand with another guy, then a guilelessly Told me all about it over the phone. I was horrified by the news-but, when I was honest with myself, also incredibly turned on by her sense of adventure. Still not sure our relationship WAS on solid footing, though, I Suggested That We table the motion. I hoped that secretly her interest in non-monogamy would pass.
We did not talk About It until again the following year, around the time of our wedding. SHORTLY before tying the knot, I Told That I thought Maria WAS our relationship strong enough to handle some … exploration, if that’s what she still wanted. Maria Seemed touched by my acceptance of her married perfect scenario. But while our marriage WAS theoretically open From the Beginning, as neither of us newlyweds was in a hurry to put that theory to the test.
A few months in, on my business trip to Jamaica, I Decided There Was no better place to give this thing a whirl. Helped seed Maria even the thought in my mind.
“Any cute girls there?” She Asked When We spoke on the phone the night I arrived.
“There is one I sort of like talking comfortable with.” “Are you going to hook up With Her?”
I could not help thinking that I was walking into a trap. “Um … That would be OK? I mean, I have no idea if she’s up for it, so … ”
“Sure,” she chirped, and changed the subject to bank charges I’d carelessly accrued a cold splash of domesticity as Things Were heating up in a tropical paradise.
In the cove, Dominique and I kissed.
She Had Been intrigued when I Told her about my untested open marriage and probed me about how this HAD eaten all about, and how I’d feel When Maria cheating cashed in her chips. The truth WAS, I had no idea.
But Maria would be the first of us to deal with Hearing acerca her life partner’s sexual adventures. (We’d Agreed on full disclosure, as Opposed to a “Do not ask, do not tell” policy.) As Dominique and I feverishly groped at each other in the water, a number of factors drowning, Arrested for being public indecency-got me thinking my first extramarital fling That Should is conducted in a bed. And it was directory.
The next morning I was scared to tell Maria. Being Cool With your partner having sex with someone in theory is one thing; how she’d react eleven I’d crossed the Rubicon HAD yet to be tested. When I called I Said, “So I did hook up With That girl last night.”
Two Mississippi’s She Said elapsed before anything. I grew worried.
“Really?” She Said. “Um … wow!” Maria did not push me to give her a play-by-play, so I kept to myself the dirty details.
And that was that. Dominique left for New York the next day. She and I have kept in touch SPO- radically on Facebook and have even met up for drinks-just drinks- when we found ourselves in the same city.
And When I came home, I was full of gratitude for my wife. Sex with Maria WAS intense and intimate. My experience, and Maria’s own two months later, caused us to see each other and our relationship in a new, more adventurous light.
Now Maria and I have been married for six years, and we’ve had several sexual trysts With Other people. I believe our relationship is stronger for it: Being open sexually Means there’s no need to lie, no cause to repress what we want to do, and That honesty informs me all other areas of our relationship. If You Had told me that I would be in an open marriage before I met Mary, I would not have any Believed You. Would this work for everyone? No. But for Maria, and me it’s perfectly right.
ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE: glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2014/02/open-marriage-my-first-time