Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Honey, I was feeling uncomfortable and wanted to leave? “ or “Something you were doing to her made me feel very awkward”?
You’re not alone! While most couples venturing into the lifestyle talk things out as much as possible, the fact remains that until you are in a situation, you truly do not know how exactly that experience is going to be for you. You may have been OK or even excited with the thought of doing one thing, but for some reason, the reality of it gave you a totally different experience.
Whenever you are in a situation that is not enjoyable for both parties, the best thing to do is to excuse yourself. As simple as that may sound, it is one of the hardest things for lifestyle couples to do. We tend to be so worried about offending the other couple or ruining our partner’s experience (if one partner is having a good time and the other is not) that we would rather say nothing and then be resentful after. This does not help anyone. Communication is the key to having a successful open relationship, and whatever the situation is, you need to honestly communicate to ensure a healthy experience for all.
With that said, here are some effective communication strategies you can use to help you escape or avoid an awkward or a “not so good” situation
Mutual Agreement- No Taking One For The Team
Before you get into any sexual situation with another couple or person, make sure you communicate to ensure it is something both partners are OK and happy with. Does not matter how excited one partner is, if it’s not good for both it’s not good at all. While some partners maybe ok making the sacrifice, it is not something I would recommend.
Take A Hint – The Safe Word
Some of us are a little bit more considerate that others, and in a situation, we may want to leave in a way that does not leave the other couple or person feeling insulted. Introducing the “Safe Word.” Find a word or sentence you can use in a situation that gives your partner the hint that you are not having a good time and it’s time to leave. A few examples of “Safe Words” could be; “Bathroom Break”, “I am too drunk”, “Peanuts”…. you get the idea.
It’s very easy to get caught up in your own enjoyment, that you totally forget about your partner and what they may be experiencing. Let’s do our very best to try avoiding that happening. Feel free to have fun and enjoy the moment, that is why you do it, but don’t forget to touch base with your partner every now and then to make sure they are doing ok as well.
Ask For What You Want
When hooking up with a new couple or person, chances are, someone you are having sex with for the first time will not know exactly what you may or may not enjoy. Communicate what you like the things you like and the things you do not like to the other couple. This needs to happen before and during the situation. Everyone’s sexual appetite and their idea of what’s pleasurable is slightly different, “different stokes for different folks” (no pun intended). If feels good say it, if it’s not so good say it. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
Spread The Love
If you want to almost always have a great experience, then give a helping hand, spread the love. You are excited to be with someone new and you want to take advantage of every single second you have with this person. Don’t forget that the most important advantage is “home court advantage.” If all is well at home, everything else is that much better. So take a time out to Touch, squeeze, kiss, lick, your partner, you know what they like and be a part of the experience for him or her, because nobody knows better than you, how to make your partner happy.
These are my five suggested tips and strategies. As you gain more experience in the swinging community, you will start to develope your own. The most important thing is that you always communicate and try to always be on the same page.