If only airport security knew what some of us swingers have packed in our suitcases when we are going on a vacation. Thank god we do not walk around with and ID card that says “Swinger” as we would be constant victims of profiling when going through airport customs. No, it’s not because swingers travelwith anything illegal, it’s because the things they travel with when going on vacation is just a little more than sunblock and bathing suits.
In my eight years of being around swingers on vacation, I have seen some of the most incredible things people manage to smuggle through airport security when travelling to a lifestyle resort party. From sexy to unbelievable, here are some of the things you may find in the suitcases of swingers going on vacation.
1. Sex Toys
Lets make one thing clear, I know for a fact that swingers are not the only ones that travels with sex toyswhen going away, but they are the only ones that do not have a problem admitting that there is a rabbit, a strap-on, a double sided dildo and a butt-plug in their suitcase. For you vanilla folks, that may seem a little over the top for you, but for swingers, those things are a staple, almost as normal as packing your toothbrush. If you check the luggage of the more serious partygoers, you may find things like a sybian, a magic wand and a ten-inch dildo you can stick to the wall of in the bathroom shower.
No need to question the motives of a swinger when you look in their suitcase and see the amount of condoms they have packed. There is never a shortage of condoms on a swinger’s vacation because everybody brings enough condoms to share. Just to show you how unselfish the men are, even though they may only be six inches in size, they keep small, medium large and double XL magnums on standby, just to make sure they can accommodate whoever shows up to the party.
When on a swinger’s vacation, everyday is Halloween. You can pack normal clothes if you feel the need, but chances are there won’t be too many opportunities to wear anything normal. Regular lifestyle vacationers understand this, so we pack accordingly. French Maid, schoolgirl’s, pimps and hoes, bare as you dare and a plethora of other sexy costume parties are some of the things you can expect. If you show up on a night and notice all the men dressed in drag, don’t worry, you are not at the wrong party. Chicks with dicks and boys in drag are a popular theme amongst some lifestyle groups. It’s all in good fun.
4. Whips, Handcuffs and Ropes
The one thing I love most about every lifestyle friendly resort is that everybody gets to be themselves and nothing is considered strange or abnormal. Whether you are into soft fetish like the Fifty Shades Of Grey, or you want to be suspended from a tree for five hours and get spanked by everyone passing, it’s totally O.K and no one will judge. Expect to see some fetish gear in the suitcases of some lifestyle vacationers.
“The wetter the better.” Ok, maybe that was a little vulgar but I am not writing this for the squares so I am sure you don’t mind. Silicon based, water based, whatever your preference, somebody will have enough lube to keep the party going all night regardless of how many people.
We could go on all day about some of the things some of our crazy lifestyle friends pack when getting ready to go on vacation. One thing is for sure, you will never get bored when on a swingers vacation as there will always be something or somebody to keep things interesting. So now you know why swingers travel with more luggage than anyone else, even though they are going to a clothing optional resort.
If you have ever been on a swinger’s vacation, leave a comment to tell us some of the things you had in your suitcase.