One of the most surprising things for me about couple swapping group sex and the swinger lifestyle has been the vicarious pleasure I’ve gotten from watching my wife with other men.
Here are a few reasons why I like to watch my wife have sex with other men:
1. I like to show her off. I’m very proud of my wife’s sexual energy and her sexy body. I love her and I’m proud to have her as my lover for life – and I enjoy showing her off to other swinger couples. She’s a sexual rock star. Her body is like a goddess. I love how uninhibited she is, and how she can confidently take command of another man (or two men at once).
2. I like to see my wife giving and receiving pleasure. I like to see my wife getting penetrated by another man. I like to know that she is getting to experience a different man. I’m not jealous or threatened by it, oddly enough – jealousy is one of most people’s biggest fears about the swinger lifestyle. But for me, I’m just happy for my wife (and I enjoy the thrill of seeing her perform).
3. Watching my wife with another man is like real-life porn. It’s really sexy getting to see my wife from different angles and in different positions than I could perform with her. It gives me a new perspective on her sexual performance – and makes it even hotter to have sex with her by myself.
I am not a cuckold fetishist, exactly…there are some guys who are turned on by watching their wife with another man, or knowing that their wife is having sex with another man. I’ve read about the “hotwife” fetish, where guys like to send their wives out on dates with other men, knowing that she’s going to come home smelling like sex, with another man’s scent on her skin. This doesn’t quite describe me. I’m happy to let my wife go on dates with other men (or other couples), even if I don’t get to be there due to scheduling conflicts, but it’s not like I have a special thrill of thinking to myself, “Ohhhh…my wife is having sex with another man RIGHT NOW!!!”
I’m more of a voyeur/exhibitionist. I enjoy the feeling of compersion (vicarious pleasure) that I get from watching my wife enjoy sex with other people. I want to maximize my wife’s pleasure in life, whether that pleasure comes from me, or from other people.
Watching my wife kiss another man or have sex with another man was one of the fears I had about polyamory. I wasn’t sure I would like it. Sure, I wanted to have sex with other women and watch my wife have sex with another woman, but I was afraid, for some reason, that seeing my wife have sex with another man would be uncomfortable or sad or feel “wrong.”
Fortunately, I was wrong. Watching my wife with another man isn’t my #1 favorite part of the swinger lifestyle, but I do enjoy it and have found it to be surprisingly hot.