Swingers’ Dictionary – 10 Words And Phrases Newbies Must Know

The swinging lifestyle is so advance that swingers even have their own language. If you are a non-lifestyle person, in the middle of a conversation with a group of swingers, you will notice them using a variety of words and phrases, that even though these terms are familiar to you, only swinger couples know what they mean.


Sounds fun doesn’t it. That is because it is. Just like kids, swingers love to play. As a matter of fact, sometimes our entire weekend, evening or vacation is built around the possibility of being able to “Play.” Yes, Play is the swinger code word for hooking up. So when a couple invites you to join them in the Playroom, just say yes.


Full Swap

Exchange is no robbery. When swingers talk about full swapping, that means that the couples involved exchanged partners and had full intercourse with each other’s spouses. From foreplay to penetration, “Full Swap” normally includes the whole “She Bang” (no pun intended).


Soft Swap

Soft swapping is the training ground that prepares you for full swap. Some couples never evolve beyond this stage. The truth is, not all the time the act of having sex turns out to be a great experience and foreplay alone may just be enough. Soft Swap is the term used to describe the act of foreplay between two or more couples. It may include: kissing, oral, and touching but no penetration is involved.



This is a word you will here swingers use a lot. And it is not because they like baking. The term “Vanilla” is used in reference to those who are not in the swinging lifestyle, or someone one or something that seems very prude. If you are a non-swinger, consider your self a “Vanilla”



Probably the most valuable possession in the Swinging lifestyle community. They are normally hard to find, hence the name, but when you do find a good one, they are a lot of fun. A “Unicorn” is a single female who enjoys being around and playing with lifestyle couples. These females are most times bi-sexual but not always. If you know any Unicorns, I am a collector, so please let me know.



Not all women in the swinging lifestyle are fully bi-sexual. As a matter of fact, I think more than 50% aren’t. However, most females in the community are what we term as “Bi-Friendly.” Meaning, in the heat of the moment, they would be ok with a little touching or a brief “fool around” session with the other female without being offended or too disturbed.


This one pretty much explains itself. Every seasoned lifestyle couple enjoys the thrill of breaking in the “Newbies.” If you are at a swingers club and you see a couple at the bar looking around hanging on to each other and not leaving, they are probably new. Go say hello.



A submissive male that enjoys watching his wife with another man is known as a “Cuckold.” For these couples, single males come at a premium, especially single black males, who may be considered to be superior in his sexual prowess, than the husband of the”cuck couple”. These single males are known as the “Bull.”



Just saying it sounds sexy. I would say this is where 90% of couples in the lifestyle start. It is normally the safest, and the men certainly do not mind sitting back and watching too beautiful women pleasing each other. Not every couple in the lifestyle is into hooking up with other couples. Some couples are simply there because the wife is bi-sexual and she is looking for another female to pay with.



I had to put this word here. Because the real truth is, in the regular world, the word “Lifestyle” means something totally different from what the term means to swingers. When swingers say Lifestyle, no, they are not talking about going to the gym and eating an apple everyday with breakfast. The swinging community has evolved over the years to include more than just couples looking to hook up with other couples. If you walk in to your local swingers club, you while find a group of people with a variety of interest levels, which may or may not include swinging. The term we use today to describe the open-minded individuals of this very broad community is “The Lifestyle.”

There are several more terms and phrases that are commonly used in the Lifestyle community. Honorary mention goes out to: MFMF, MMF, FFM… ok, I do not want to confuse you with all the crazy abbreviations. We will talk about those in another blog. For now, that is it for my Top 10 words out of the swingers’ dictionary.

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