Though these are not written rules, not following them could lead to you not being welcomed or invited back to other events.
Here are the most important rules and etiquette you need to follow when at a swingers’ party.
1. Be Friendly and courteous.
The number one way to “not get laid” in any situation, especially in the swinging lifestyle is to be a total anti-social asshole. You will find that you make friends with way more couples by simply smiling, saying hello and engaging in conversations. If someone offers you something you are not interested in, no need to be rude, a simple “No Thank You” will do.
2. No Means No
You will here this over and over again. When a person or a couple say “No Thank You” they really mean it and it’s time for you to back off. Harassment will not be tolerated and by disregarding this rule you are asking for a one-way ticket out of every single lifestyle event. Be respectful of others and their preferences. Do not take personal offense. No simply means “NO”.
3. Ask First
It’s easy to fall into the trap of the misguided notion that it is a free for all and you could just touch whatever you see without asking. It’s actually quite the opposite. 1) You might get punched in the face 2) It’s very rude and not accepted. Unless permission was given, if you see something you like, ask first before you touch. You can first start by paying a compliment, then asking nicely if you may touch or, have a dance with someone that does not belong to you. Whatever it is you want to do with another couple, start by asking first.
4. Respect The Boundaries Of Others
Everyone has the right to be where he or she is at in the swinging lifestyle. There is no minimum of maximum level of participation requirements. Every couple has their own preferences and others should respect those preferences. Do not force anyone to like the things that you like, as well as you should not judge others for what they are into. The most beautiful thing about the lifestyle community is it provides a safe place for those looking to exploring their fantasies and sexuality, without pressure or judgment. Allow others to truly enjoy that freedom.
5. No Drama
It’s not very often but it’s quite normal for couples to have disagreements while at a party. This is mostly due to lack of communication. It’s ok. It happens. This however does not mean you get to ruin the night of everyone else by arguing or fighting where everyone else can see or hear you. Take your drama home, or to the car. If you can’t work out your drama, it’s best to stay home until you are ready to communicate properly and be a part of the lifestyle community.
6. Dress to get laid
When we talk about dressing, it’s not just about what you are wearing. It’s everything from attire to the way you groom yourself. If you are going to venture into the swinging lifestyle, consider that you have you may have to go back to the days when you were single and cared about how you look, when you were trying to get laid or meet someone. You are not an insurance sales guy so no need to come dressed in a suit and tie. For the guys, a nice collared shirt, nice jeans and a nice pair of designer shoes will do. Don’t forget a fresh haircut, shower and shave your private parts. Ladies, this is your opportunity to bring out you inner sexy. The ladies are the center of attention so you want to dress the part. Sexy lingerie, club dresses, costumes, whatever you please, as long as you make sure it compliments your body very well.
Lifestyle events are fun and everyone is normally very respectful. The level of respect and fun you find at swingers parties, you will be hard to find the same at your regular vanilla bar. That is because most lifestyle couples and singles know and follow these unspoken rules, which leads to a good time for all.