A common ‘get to know you question’ when you first meet a potential playmate is, “How did you guys get into the lifestyle?” So I figured I would share that story with you guys here so you can get a sense of who we are and how we got into this.
Let me start by saying that my first knowledge of swingers didn’t come until a couple of years before I started, and my introduction to it was of a negative connotation. I heard from a good friend of mine that a couple that we knew were swingers. “Be careful with them…they’re swingers,” he warned. “Um, what does that mean?” I asked meekly.
“Oh…” Not the greatest explanation, but that’s what I had to go on.
Fast forward a couple of years. Blake and I had discussed my interest in women and were actively seeking a threesome without any luck. Randomly, this couple invites Blake and I to a birthday party. This sets off no alarms because Blake has known these people since elementary school.
Once we get to the party, the male from the couple discreetly tells Blake that there are swingers among the group we’re partying with. *cue ominous string instrumental* Thus begins our first real introduction to swinging. (For those curious, we did not find a third that night, although I had a little, um, 30 minute…session…with a female partygoer in the bathroom. That’s a story for another time J)
We start off with soft swap with that couple because, as I said, we were in it for the girls and had no real interest in swapping partners.
It was a weird experience at first. I never thought I’d find myself openly attracted to and having sex with another woman. It’s something I’d always fantasized about, but never thought I’d be able to be honest about. Only through communication with my partner was I able to let that part of myself free. And I DEFINITELY didn’t think I’d be having sex in front of other people. Having sex with Blake while they watched and being able to watch them unlocked a voyeuristic side I never knew I had. Over time, I grew quite comfortable with our arrangement as it was. We’d joined a couple of swinger sites and we were getting acclimated to life as soft swap swingers. Then came K, Jody and the infamous Halloween party.
It was our first on-premise event.
We were unsure of what we’d see, but excited for the new experience. We go with that same couple that introduced us to the life. We all enjoy ourselves, get drunk, and decide to invite people over after the party. Jody and K decided to join us.
That night, we decided to give full swap a go. We were drunk, the vibe was right and they were HOT! Lol. So, we have our first full swap experience (unbeknownst to Jody and K) and it goes smoothly. Blake and I discussed the experience when we got home afterward and we were both extremely comfortable with everything that happened. And the rest is history. We have been proud card-carrying members of the full swap swinging community ever since,
For us, our opinions and boundaries evolved as we had more experiences and met more people. Each new frontier was accompanied by serious discussion between the two of us as to where our comfort level lies. I’m sure everyone says this, but allow me to reiterate: communication is PARAMOUNT when you’re a swinger. No matter how big or how small the feeling, you have to share it with your partner so you don’t end up in an uncomfortable or potentially relationship-ending situation because you didn’t speak up.
So that’s how I got into this. How was your experience different or similar? When did you know that swinging was what you wanted to do? Were you immediately down to go all the way or did you ease into it? I love hearing stories, so share!