(This post is a follow up post to New Swingers Guide: Part One)
So you have done your research, been all over the Internet, and hopefully at least brushed your teeth. You are ready to get out in this erotic new world and meet some other lifestylers. Thats great! Where do we go from here?
In order to meet other lifestylers, you need to find some places to interact with us. It is probably in your best interest for now, to choose a place where you and your spouse will be comfortable and not feel pressure. There is no opportunity for lower pressure than being in your underwear, drinking a glass of wine or cold beer, and once again sitting in front of your computer. Yes, one of the best places for new and veteran swingers alike to interact, do some window shopping, and get to know each other a little bit is online.
The wonders of modern technology have made it possible to literally meet hundreds, or in large cities thousands of other couples with a few mouse clicks. There are several websites out there that act as “dating” websites for swingers. What is great, is that some of them have pretty extensive features like pictures, profiles, forums, groups, live chat(with video), and more. These tools allow you to quickly weed out couples that have either physical or personality features you or your spouse find unappealing and focus on getting to know the ones you like!
These websites are not all created equal and have differing popularity’s based on geography. The site you choose needs to have enough members in your area to be “productive”. We signed up for a few sites when we first started, and were amazed at the difference. The first site had about a hundred memberships from the Houston area, then we found the site we currently use which has, as of today, around 350 memberships within ten miles of my house. The second thing to consider is quality and legitimacy. Many sites out there act like they are dedicated to personal ads for swingers, but they are aimed at providing sexy pictures to porn surfers instead. If when you open the site, it appears to have more pictures than functionality, it is probably not what you are looking for.
As we did in Part One of this series, Mrs. GentleNibbles and I have done a lot of the surfing for you, so we will provide you with some links to help. Nearly all of the sites have free trials, so feel free to sign up for a couple of them and choose the one that fits you best. Here they are:
We give this site our absolute highest recommendation. We had bought memberships at several sites when we were starting, and this one by far has the best features, most legitimate couples, and best sense of community. Lucky for us, living in Houston, it also has the most registered couples in our region. If you live anywhere in the South Texas and Louisiana area, this one is probably your best bet. There demographics fall off once you get out of that area, but we see more from other states, but even that number is continually growing. This is the site that Mrs. GentleNibbles and myself personally use. We type this blog in anonymity, but there are some clues on our profile. If you ever think you figure us out, send us an email and say “Hi”
This is another site we signed up for, it was OK and seemed to have a pretty wide spread demographic pool. They may be a good site to choose if you do a lot of traveling and wanted to meet people all over the country, versus close to your home.
This site is actually another really good site. The website is well designed and there are a lot of good features. This site seems to be much larger on the West Coast, with some couples in our area but not as many as the one we use. Check this one out and try your zip-code, they may have a lot of members in your area. (Sorry there is no banner, I could not find one on their site)
This site is pretty good as well as far as content and quality go. It was another site, that just seemed to be lacking couples in our area. We recently went on a cruise with some lifestylers from Dallas, and they said SDC was much larger up there. If you live in North Texas you may want to try this one. (once again, I apologize as I could not easily locate a banner for this site.)
Once again, another great site, but no couples in our area. As a matter of fact this is a great one for all you Canadians, as they seemed to make up the majority of the site. Very sexy Canadians mind you, but out of our regular travel range.
I am sure there are many other sites out there, but those are all the ones Mrs. GentleNibbles and myself tried. It may be a good idea to travel to the local adult novelty shop, as often these sites may have some advertisements or cards up by the cash register. If not, don’t be shy and just ask. After all, if you are intending to ever get naked with other people, you probably should be able to get the guts up to ask the guy/girl behind the counter if they have any information about local swinger clubs and websites. If you are really lucky and have no problems with public embarrassment, ask the cute couple standing in front of you in the line at the register. You may get lucky in more way than one!
Now that you have signed up for at least one of the sites below and are officially interacting with all the sexy hedonistic people in your community, lets make sure we start things off on the right foot.
All of the sites are going to give you the opportunity to upload pictures. I definitely recommend uploading at least one pic. Other members will take your profile much more seriously if they see a pic, not to mention some websites have options allowing couples to opt out of letting members without pics to see their pics. If you are worried about privacy use Microsoft Paint, or some photo editor to slap some boxes over your faces. We started this way, but eventually, as we began to trust the site more removed them.
Even though very few of us enjoy sitting down and typing a paragraph or two about ourselves for the world to read, it is very important to type a good honest profile. Keep in mind a quote I gave you a couple of paragraphs ago,
“These tools allow you to quickly weed out couples that have either physical or personality features you or your spouse find unappealing and focus on getting to know the ones you like!”
A hastily put together profile, with a bunch of misspellings or nonsensical language may get on that “weeded out” list pretty quick. A statement like, “My gurl gat a reel perty mouf”, is only going to get you laid in a very small number of states in this country. It may be a good idea to type something like, “We are brand new to the lifestyle and the website. We will be updating our profile shortly”. Then take some time, look at lots of other profiles, get an idea of what you want yours to say, and then write it together. (Hint-Type it in a word processor and then copy and paste it into your profile. This way you can spell check it, plus if you are signing up for multiple sites you only have to type it once.)
Did you notice you typed, “…brand new to the lifestyle”. I tricked you, this little comment is probably going to get you quite a few “Welcome” emails from members. Partly because we are all friendly people, and partly because you just became the sexy new fresh meat! Read the emails, if you find the couple attractive and like their profile and what they said in the email, then email them back. You just became a virtual swinger!!!
In the next post, Part Three, we will discuss stepping out of your virtual “swinging” reality and into a erotic, intense, and very real “swinging” reality. The subjects will be: Going to a swing club and Meeting your first couple in person.
For now you have some work to do. Find a good website that works for you, get registered, and then after the kids go to bed grab a glass of wine and get busy!!! (searching your new site that is…..What do think you are? Some kind of swinger or something.)