Does “Separate Room Play” Defeat The Purpose Of What The Swinging Lifestyle Is All About?

“Same Room Play” “Separate Room Play” are two terms you will see quite frequently in the swinging lifestyle. Some prefer one more than the other, for some one may be a big “NO NO” and for others, either is ok. First let’s look at the meaning of the two terms. They are both pretty self-explanatory. “Same Room Play” simply means that a couple plays together in the same room, while “Separate Room Play” means that a couple is ok with thier partner going off with others to have sex without them being present. Of the two situations, the obviously more controversial is the idea of playing in separate rooms. While I have personally admired several couples that has evolved to the point of being comfortable with their partner going off with another person without them, others think it defeats the whole purpose of what the swinging lifestyle is all about. Here are some of the responses I have gotten when I asked a few couples about their opinion on “Separate Room Play.”
  • “It’s the ultimate act of selflessness and trust. If you love and trust your partner fully, why would you deny them any experience that they might enjoy?”
  • “We always play in the same room. We are in this as a couple and we prefer to enjoy our experiences as a couple.”
  • “We think playing together is safer for each other and for our relationship.”
  • “My wife is able to relax and enjoy herself more when I am not around. It is about her and whatever makes her happy. I could never let my insecurities take away that from her.”
  • “We enjoy watching each other being pleased by others. We would not be able to enjoy that if we were in separate rooms.”
  • “If you are OK with your partner having sex with someone else, why does it matter if you are in the room or not? Isn’t that just about you and your desires to be in control? As long as you know about it, it shouldn’t matter either way”
  • “We want to be a part of whatever each other is experiencing.” Being in separate rooms does not help us accomplish that.” Same Room Play is the only thing that works for us”
  • “If we wanted to have sex with random people separately, we would have just gotten a divorce and just be single. This is about us, not him nor me. Everything we do, we do as a couple”
  • “If you truly trust your partner, you would not put any restrictions on what experiences they can or cannot enjoy. Whether you are there or not.”

What is your opinion on this topic? Take the poll below to let us know. Please feel free to leave a comment as well to share further thoughts on the matter.

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One thought on “Does “Separate Room Play” Defeat The Purpose Of What The Swinging Lifestyle Is All About?

  1. When my ex and me were together we played many times in the same room but also on occasion in separate rooms. There was never any jealousy or concerns when were out of sight of each other. In fact at the end of the night we would go home and talk about what we did when not together in a room.

    She also had a female lover who would stay over at the house once or twice a month. I never asked to join in because that was her time, but again I felt no pressure or concerns of not being involved or being able to see what was going on.

    Trust is a huge issue for all swingers, it’s true we both preferred the same room but being in separate room was never an issue. We both admitted we found it a turn on to have separate room sex but we didn’t want that all the time when swinging. I think it is just a choice thing, whatever a couple are happy with, it’s their choice to swing how they want.

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