28
Dec

The Swinger Dictionary: All Relevant Terms

I thought it would be a good idea to introduce some of the terminology used in the community.  Some of the vocabulary may be graphic and a little shocking.  I can assure you, anything that sounds weird or gross to you, probably sounds the same to the majority of the lifestylers.  But just as in chuch on Sunday, there are a few in our midst who enjoy the real kinky side.  For that reason I have tried to include those definitions as well.

I will be posting this as a permanent page on the site for future reference as well.  Good Luck and go learn something!

 

 

Threesome

Sex play that involves three partners – often a couple in a committed relationship may invite a third partner to engage with in a sexy adventure.  FFM refers to a threesome that involves two females and a male.  MFM refers to a threesome that involves two males and one one female.

 

Voyeurism

Watching others have sex.

 

 

AC/DC
Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual.
ADULT
Euphemism for pornographic.
ALL CULTURES
Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see CULTURE)
AMERICAN CULTURE
Man on top, the missionary position.
ANAL or ANAL SEX
Anal intercourse; Greek; Greek Culture.
ANALINGUS
Oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other.
ARTS
Euphemism for fetishes (see CULTURE)
B&D or B/D
Bondage and discipline; use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a “master” to his/her “slave”. (see BONDAGE; DISCIPLINE; BDSM)
BBW
Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that may not be their “ideal” weight, but are comfortable with the size that they are..
BDSM
A combination of three terms: BD (Bondage & Discipline), DS (Dominance & Submission), and SM (Sadism & Masochism). A wide range of sexual activities having to do with power.

Bedroom Cruiser

An individual who goes from bedroom to bedroom to watch or who goes into a private sex play area uninvited as a stag to see if there is something for them.
BI
Bisexual: Versatile(see AC/DC)
BI-COMFY
Varies from person to person but usually used by a woman to state that she is comfortable being around or with a woman who is BI. A “BI-COMFY” woman may or may not desire to have sex with another woman. She is merely “comfortable” with the idea of playing with another woman but does not wish to label herself as “BI-SEXUAL.”
BI-CURIOUS
A person who has little or no experience having sexual relations with a same gendered person but is interested in finding partners to explore that side of his/her sexuality.
BI-FRIENDLY
When used in the description of a club, BI-FRIENDLY means that the club is open to bisexuals of both genders. When a woman uses this to describe herself it means she feels no attraction to the same gender but she has no hang-ups that preclude a bit of friendly fooling around when the situation seems to call for it.

Bi-Situational

A person who is not bi-sexual and does not seek out sex play with persons of the same sex, but may participate in sex play under specific circumstances where their own partner is also present.

BIZARRE
Unusual sexual desires; Way out
BONDAGE
A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered “dominant” while the person being bound is considered “submissive.”
BUKKAKE
A Japanese sexual term that refers to showering a receiver with sperm from one, several or many men. It is always a sperm shower and, therefore, those on the giving end are always male.
CAN ENTERTAIN
Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging.
CAN TRAVEL
Advertiser willing to travel to your home to swing.
CANING
A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood.
CHEATING
Sexual activity with others without spouse’s knowledge and/or consent.
CLEAN
Hygienic; Free of sexually transmitted diseases.
CLOSED DOOR
(see CLOSED SWINGING)
CLOSED SWINGING
Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms so that partners of a marriage or other intimate relationship do not visually observe each other’s swinging. The rooms are almost always in the same house.
CLOSET SWINGER
A person who hides the fact that he/she is a swinger. (see DISCREET)
COUPLE
In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes; CPL
CPL
Couple
CUCKOLD
While the originally meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who’s wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. This can also be reversed on the wife. Since different people use the word to mean different things, it is best to ask the people using the word in order to clarify the definition.
CULTURE
Euphemism for Fetish, Arts
CUNNILINGUS
Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth

Cyber-poly

A person who engages in open relationships and sexual experiences online.  For example, two people who are primary partners in real life (a couple) may bring in additional sexual partners for online sex or related virtual activities over the internet using chat, web cam, audio and other cyber props.  No “in-person” sexual or relationship activity would occur except between the primary relationship partners.
D/D FREE
Drug/Disease Free, meaning that a couple/person is is STD free and does not use drugs. An acronym individuals use to identify themselves as being drug and disease free.
DILDO
An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus.
DIRECTOR
The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally call a Manager.
DISCIPLINE
A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings
DISCREET OR DISCRETION
Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity.
DOCILE
Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).
DOMESTIC TRAINING
Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature.
DOMINANT
The sexual partner in control of the willing submissive partner
DOUBLE PENETRATION
Being penetrated in two orifices at the same time (usually refers to anal and vaginal, may also include oral)
DP
Double Penetration
ENGLISH CULTURE
Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning
ENTERTAIN
(see CAN ENTERTAIN)
EUROPEAN STYLE CLUB
One that requires clothing to be removed (sometimes after a certain time of night).
EXHIBITIONIST
A person who is sexually stimulated by being seen or watched by others while showing sexual portions of the body or engaging in sexual acts.

Exhibitionism

Having sex with your partner while being watched.
F
Female
FELLATIO
Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.
FETISH
Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy
FFM or FMF
Threesome involving two women and one man (see THREESOME)
FLAGELLATION
Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking
FMF
A threesome between two women and one man.
FFM
A threesome between two women and one man. Sometimes when a person writes FFM instead of MFM they may mean that there is to be sexual play for all 3 but only sexual penetration with one of the women. If you are unclear, you should ask the person you are corresponding to what they mean by this arrangement of the letters.
FELLATIO
Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.
FRENCH CULTURE
Oral-genital sexual activity (see FALLATIO; CUNNILINGUS)
FULL SWAP
Also referred to as “HARD SWAP.” It means there is to be sexual penetration for all of those engaging in the group’s activities.
FUN AND GAMES
Euphemism for sexual activity
GAY
A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.
GBM
Gay Black Male
GENEROUS
Refers to money for sex.
GOLDEN SHOWER
Refers to urine play (see WATERSPORTS)
GREEK CULTURE
Anal-penile intercourse
GROUP ROOM
Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see MATROOM).
GROUP SEX
Swinging; Social-sexual activity between three or more people.
GWM
Gay White Male

 

Hall Pass

A verbal agreement between consenting, liberal-minded partners that allows one of them to play independently of the other with sexy play friends.

 
HARD CORE
A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
HARD SWINGING
(see FULL SWAP)
HEAD
Oral-genital sexual activity; “Giving head” (see FRENCH CULTURE; FALLATIO; CUNNILINGUS)
HEDONIST
Someone who lives for pleasure.
HETEROSEXUAL
Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
HOMOSEXUAL
Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY)
HORNY
Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure.
HUMANIST
Person who believes in human values, potential, self-respect of the individual, personal freedom and human rights.
HUNG
Refers to a man with a large penis.
HWP
Height-Weight Proportionate; Someone who is at their ideal body weight.
INDOOR
Swinging activities in general
INDOOR SPORTS
(See INDOOR)
INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP
Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads
IR
Interracial
IRL
In Real Life; Used in ads or online chat
ISO
In Search Of; Used in ads; MWC ISO Single Female
LEATHER
A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing of leather garments.
LESBIAN
A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women (see GAY)

(The) Lifestyle

 

Today, Swinging in North America has evolved into what is most commonly referred to as the swinging lifestyle or simply The Lifestyle (although this simplified term is also used by people into Leather and BDSM).

 

Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages with either another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (often called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. Sex on these occasions is often referred to as play.

 

While the vast majority of swingers are heterosexual couples, a major part of Lifestyle activities are bisexual in nature. A large portion of female swingers, while they may or may not identify as bisexual, are interested in female-female sexual contact. Male-male contact is more rare, but does occur.

 
LTR
Long Term Relationship
M
Male
MARITAL AIDS
Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others.
MASOCHISM
Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others.
MASTER/SLAVE
Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship (see B&D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)
MATROOM /MATTRESS ROOM
Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see GROUP ROOM).
MBC
Married Black Couple
MBiC
Married Bisexual Couple
MEET FOR PLEASURE
Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads
MENAGE A TROIS
Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. (see THREESOME, TRIAD)
MFM or MMF
Threesome involving two men and one woman (see THREESOME)
MORESOMES
More than three people in a swinging interaction.
MWC
Married White Couple
NASCA
The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become. Levels of members: Affiliate Club, General, Associate and Institutional for swing clubs and magazines, general swinging community, media and institutions of learning and research.
NEWCOMERS
New people in swinging; First-timers
NONSMOKER
Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes.
OFF-PREMISE
No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers.

On Premise Event

An event where sex or sexual activities take place within the confines of the venue.
OPEN DOOR
(see OPEN SWINGING)
OPEN SWINGING
A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room. A minimum of privacy.
ORAL-GENITAL
(see CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, HEAD)
ORGY
Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; Complete absence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex.
P/P
Photo and phone number (used in personal ads).
PARTY
Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.
PARTY CLOTHES
Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.
PARTY HOUSE
(Western US ) A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
PASSIVE
Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE)

Playdar

The uncanny ability to sense whether another individual or couple are open to erotic fantasy play with others.  A sixth sense related to erotic fantasy play.

 
PHOTO
Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.
PHOTOGRAPHY
Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs.
POLYAMORY
A love relationship involving more than 2 people.
PRO
Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escort.
RECREATIONAL SWINGER
A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion with no desire for emotional attachment.
RESTRAINT
Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments.
ROMAN
Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc (see ROMAN CULTURE)
RUBBER
Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D.
S&M or S/M
Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM; MASOCHISM; BDSM)
S.A.S.E.
Self-addressed stamped envelope.
S.T.D. or STD
Sexually transmitted disease. A term developed in the late 1970’s to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem.
SAFE
Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy.
SBF
Single Black Female
SBiF
Single Bisexual Female
SBM
Single Black Male
SCAT
refers to the use of excrament/fecal matter.
SGL
Single person.
SGL
Single(see SINGLE)
SINGLE
A swinger without a partner, single or married.
SOCIAL
A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.
SOCIAL SWING CLUB
A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.
SODOMY
Non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation with either an opposite sex or same sex partner.
SOFT SWAP
Two couples exchanging partners for certain types of sexual activity (defined by the couples involved); if intercourse takes place it is only between primary partners (see FULL SWAP)
SOFT SWINGERS
Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner. No swapping for intercourse.
SOFT SWINGING
The term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched, or any sexual encounter up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your spouse. The first experience for many couples some type of soft-swinging. (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE).
SRS
Same Room Sex (see SOFT SWINGING).
STR or STR8
straight(see STRAIGHT)
STRAIGHT
Any person who is not interested in engaging in homosexual activity or A person who does not use drugs; also used by swingers to denote non-swinging people.
SUBMISSIVE
Passive, wishes to be dominated (see Passive)
SWAPPING
Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity. (see SOFT SWAP; FULL SWAP)
SWEDISH CULTURE
Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another
SWF
Single White Female
SWING MAGAZINE
A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community.
SWINGING
An alternative lifestyle for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others, most often on a couple-to-couple basis, with full knowledge and mutual consent of both partners; single men and women are sometimes involved.

Sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is “non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.”[1] The phenomenon (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic, as it is androcentric and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.

 
SWINGING LIFESTYLE
Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.

SWINGING MARRIAGE
Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.

SWM
Single White Male

TAN
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus(AIDS)

THREESOME
Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. (see Menage a Trois)

TICKET
A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the man to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.
TOYS
Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS)

TRANSGENDERED
Individual who does not identify with his/her biologically assigned sex. Not related to sexual orientation.

TRANSSEXUAL
Individual who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments; or one who is in the process of gender conversion

TRANSVESTITE
A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex; not necessarily homosexual.

TRAVEL
(see CAN TRAVEL)

TRIAD
Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.
TRIOLISM
Used in personal ads to indicate desire for “threesomes”. This is a common but confusing usage (see TRIAD)
TUBAL LIGATION
Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation.
UTOPIAN SWINGER
A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.

VANILLA
Typically refers to non-swingers (ie. “vanilla friends”)

VASECTOMY
Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to artificially sterilize a male.

VERSATILE
Bisexual. (see AC/DC)

VIBRATOR
Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another.

VOLUPTUOUS
Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips.

VOYEUR
A person who enjoys and is stimulated by watching others in sexual acts.

VOYEURISM
Sexual gratification by watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity.

WATERSPORTS
Typically refers to urine play.(see GOLDEN SHOWER)

WAY-OUTS/ WEIRDOS
Those people interested in activities usually considered by the majority to be bizarre, kinky, unusual, or unconventional.

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